pesen
dari ibu

.. kamu jangan terlalu mencintai manusia lain
melebihi rasa cintamu pada Allah..
.. hidupmu bakal banyak beban, ketidakmujuran,
penuh masalah yang gak pernah berhenti..

.. kalo kamu nyadarin lagi ngalamin hal ini
dan gak tau jalan keluarnya..

bicaralah pada kami, orang tuamu.

what it's like
everlast

...

i've seen a rich man beg
i've seen a good man sin
i've seen a tough man cry
i've seen a loser win
and a sad man grin

i heard an honest man lie
i've seen the good side of bad
and the down side of up
and everything between

i licked the silver spoon
drank from the golden cup
smoked the finest green
i stroked daddies dimes at least a couple of times
before i broke their heart

you know where it ends
it usually depends on where you start

...

then you really might know
what it's like to have to lose

...

nyepi
pancashit

satu
shit for delayed flight

dua
shit for unextended room

tiga
shit for d worst pool table

empat
shit for d smell bathroom

lima
shit for no fookin cash

caci maki, ngedumel, narik napas panjang
buanyak banged keluhan lain
but gak ada lagi yang bisa gw lakuin
selain nerimo (kampreeeeet!)

6 jam awal
masih banyak diem, sbentar2 bilang
anjing (banyaknya dalem hati aja)
keilangan java jazz, resepsi nikah adek plus dimarahin emak

makan malem,
dah mule enak lah
ngobrol ngalur ngidul
mayan mulai enjoy

balik ke kamar
nonton film yang gak pernah tuntas gw tonton
shit lagi
gak bisa tidur, hmpf!

hari ini, selain pancashit tadi
gw diingetin lagi
kalo soal duniawi itu semu
kapanpun bisa "gak kepake"

entah beneran ini kutukan dewa
atau kutukan the rock?
kutukupret sekali
kok semua seakan gak make sense aja

ah, ngabisin energi kalo
terus ngedumel
gw coba ambil hikmahnya
atas semua yang gw alamin

original...
fresh from oven...
made in bali
nyepi langsung di tempat aslinya

hajaran yang terbesar
gw baru ngerasain,
saat gw berbuat salah (again)
segala sesuatu yang sebelumya gw kerjain
seikhlas apapun itu, dengan niat sebaik apapun itu
ternyata bisa jadi bumerang
yang amat sangat mengecewakan
(eh maaf, orang yang "salah" masih berhak untuk kecewa gak sih?)

--- c e n s o r e d p a r t ---

sejujurnya gw kaget waktu gw "paste"in coretan ini, di bagian ini ada coretan nyelip.
gw dah mulai gak tau apa yang gw rasain, yang pasti gw cuma bisa bilang...
i'm a nice person? no, hidup gw lebih nista dari yang dikira banyak orang
i forgot n blind? forgot maybe, blind.. indeed...
don't worry,
i know how to runaway from this, it's just the matter of time...

--- c e n s o r e d p a r t ---

well...
betapa Allah amat sangat berkuasa
gw tunduk atas semua pelajaran ini
gw malu, gw merasa amat bodoh

gw nikmatin
Alhamdulillah.. Thanks ya Allah
gak kan mungkin gw lupa kejadian ini
seumur hidup gw..

5114, 119 & 308
no more lucky number, pls...

i can't say it clearly to you
i promised you
that
i never leave you

the fact is,
it's really farewell party
not only for all the jobs
that we've done
after all this time

always
wish you doin fine
do whatever you want
i can't see it for more

you're a natural player
da real life player
nobody can't stop it
but you

just remember,
that every time
you're goin home

i ask you,
really ask you

to look at
your junior's eyes
there's the future
that you've been creating
these days

sorry n thanks v much
i can't go on this way..
i just can't go on pretending
that it came to a natural end

note :
i wish i'm still a player...